strangetart: (heartbreak)
 July 4th weekend, 1993 I was given two cats.  At 18 years old and just starting out in a crazy life full of challenge and adventure, it was a grounding and humbling experience.  I knew nothing about cats, but I was head over heels in love.  A few years later one of those cats passed away and it was tragic and horrible.  I said goodbye and went about a life full of cats and other experiences.  I still had one of the original two.  her name was Poo.  Not Pooh.

A female orange tabby, which is not a common thing, she was also SO soft and fluffy with downy fur.  She never met a lap she didn't like.  When it came to men in my life, she was quite obvious about whether or not she like you.  In retrospect, she could pick them better than I could.

On July 4, 2011 Miss Poo turned 19.  I sang to her all day and gave her extra love.  I marveled at how well she was doing for such an old lady.  She smiled and purred.

yesterday was the day that she took a dramatic turn and it was obvious from looking at her that she would not recover.  I bought her a new brush, her favorite treats and toys.  She sniffed the treats but only paid attention to the brushing, which was her favorite.  I told her she was a pretty girl.  My heart broke even more when she didn't grab the brush and commence vigorous brushing of herself, as she always did.

She died this morning, with some help from a vet, while I petted her and told her how much I love her.  I've had her for 18 years - exactly half of my life.  It's hard to let go of that.

I've shed a lot of tears over the past few years - for regret, for fear and many other things - but I have never felt such a hollowness before.  I'm amazed that such a tiny little bit of pointy orange fur with a question mark tail and a sense of elegance could have such an impact on my life.

I'm going to miss you, sweet Poo.  I hope you find Tigger and Midnite in kitty heaven and you will have crazy hour all the time again.




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June 2013

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